List of Bible Losers

1. Noah was a drunk.
2. Abraham was “too old.”
3. Isaac was a daydreamer.
4. Jacob was a liar.
5. Leah hated her prettier sister.
6. Joseph was abused.
7. Moses had a stuttering problem and tried to commit suicide.
8. Gideon tested God over and over.
9. Samson was a womanizer.
10. Rahab was a prostitute.
11. Jeremiah didn’t want to be a prophet.
12. David had an affair, was a murderer and was bi-polar.
13. Elijah was suicidal.

14. Isaiah was an exhibitionist.

15. Jonah ran from God.
16. James and John asked God to kill the Samaritans.
17. Job went bankrupt and fought with God.
18. Peter denied Christ three times and hated Gentiles.
19. The Disciples fell asleep while praying.
20. Martha was a codependent worry-wart.
21. The Samaritan woman had been married four times.
22. Matthew was an extortionist.
23. Paul was a religious hypocrite and a murderer.
24. And finally!
25. Lazarus was dead!